After Awhile

Its amazing to read back over my writing and see how much I've changed. I'm less concerned with pleasing my readers and more concerned with a phrase (its one word, but the concept outweighs its depth in phonological terms) that I've been hearing over and over... directness People either like it or hate it. If they like it, then they are lovers of truth and light If they dont, then they are probably completely enslaved to the idea of pleasing everyone all the time with deception and manipulation and a false sense of continual ease that nobody feels ever. Its all just smoke and mirrors. Am I making any sense here? So directness, being honest, being forward, being real. It sucks, because nobody wants to feel like they are being judged or humiliated for their point of view But that is happening all the time anyways, isn't it? Well, Just a thought. M.

Foggy-Sweaty-Silence-Wisdom

Like the name? Not sure what else to say
I dont like to report my every move to my computer, so I wont tell you that I spent a little time with a girlfriend today
For the life of me, I couldn't find anything positive to say
But she was just overflowing with gratitude and humility and PATIENCE ...
All that, and she's a size 2.
I know..I know.
And that got me thinking (back to the humility and patience part)
about all the ways in which we allow our situation to define us.
We look at this, want to change that, see that person with this, we want it...
I dont think I struggle with envy so much,
I have a great life, so much to be grateful and thankful for...
So why am I not?
My friend had to spell it out for me today
"Get filled up daily"
She said. she even said that she needs to get filled up TWICE a day.
So cool.
So I'm rolling with it. This will probably be my last post for the month,
But I'll call ya in a week and let you know how this little experiment is going

The Challenge: Getting filled up with the Lord, being quiet in and His Presence for ONE WEEk98

I sneezed during the last part of that.
Adieu

Three Wires

Its been raining a lot today,
It rained right over all my plans
But then I remembered a word that the Lord has been speaking to me
He has given it to me through multiple peoples, in my daily reading, and then (always happens like this) confirmed it through the sermon on Sunday.

"Rest in Me."

BUT LORD I AM RESTING?!
Right?
No, not quite. I think this, like many passages in the Word, is focusing more on the heart of the issue than the surface. Sure, I could kick back and nap all day,
But what would I dream about?
Probably all the worries I've been feeling the past couple weeks

But I don't need to worry, simply cast my cares on Him.

Does that mean I never have any worries ever?
.....
It means I'm sustained by Him, I'm putting my trust in Him, it means I'm dependent on him.
It means I belong to a Shepard who doesn't need my little sheep self looking over His shoulder and checking in. He's got it under control.
I can rest in Him.

I know that we've all heard this, but I think sometimes we need a reminder.
Here it is: Rest In Him.

Identity Crisis Much?

I dislike
That everytime
The conversation
Turns to hair
Everyone's gotta say
"oh michelle, we're never sure what you look like
because your hair keeps changing so much"
Come again?
Just because
From the summer to now
Everyone saw my hair go from
Red
to
Black
to
Short black
to
Blonde
to
Red
to
Reddy-Blonde
does
NOT
mean
I change my hair
CONSTANTLY
If anything, thats a good...
Two-month-per-hairstyle average.

Weird Situation...

So if your grandma yells at you to "turn that rap music off"
And you realize that you're in your twenties...
Is there a problem there??

Cracked...

Sometimes I look around at all the relationships in my community and cry out to God.
I wish there wasn't so much brokeness in the world.
It breaks my heart.
I see kids at Three Rivers who are so broken already, their homes in pieces, no foundation to grow upon...
I see friendships being torn apart by lies and hatred, some of it has come from me, most of it from the Father of Lies who loves to take miscommunication and turn it into huge chasms of broken space between us.
How are we supposed to navigate through all this brokeness and darkness that it has caused?

I know that truth shines in the darkness
That's why I read the truth of the word of God
I know that the only way to navigate our brokenness is to have it healed
That's what I've seen happen in my own life once I began to trust the Lord

Those are the only two things I can cling to in this awfully confusing time in my life. Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

BABYYYY

I'm noticing them everywhere.
I want to hold them and kiss their little faces.
On my bike ride this morning I actually stopped to pet one, didn't ask the mom...
I'm a woman possessed by the cuteness of babies.
Why have I never noticed them before????