After Awhile

Its amazing to read back over my writing and see how much I've changed. I'm less concerned with pleasing my readers and more concerned with a phrase (its one word, but the concept outweighs its depth in phonological terms) that I've been hearing over and over... directness People either like it or hate it. If they like it, then they are lovers of truth and light If they dont, then they are probably completely enslaved to the idea of pleasing everyone all the time with deception and manipulation and a false sense of continual ease that nobody feels ever. Its all just smoke and mirrors. Am I making any sense here? So directness, being honest, being forward, being real. It sucks, because nobody wants to feel like they are being judged or humiliated for their point of view But that is happening all the time anyways, isn't it? Well, Just a thought. M.

Foggy-Sweaty-Silence-Wisdom

Like the name? Not sure what else to say
I dont like to report my every move to my computer, so I wont tell you that I spent a little time with a girlfriend today
For the life of me, I couldn't find anything positive to say
But she was just overflowing with gratitude and humility and PATIENCE ...
All that, and she's a size 2.
I know..I know.
And that got me thinking (back to the humility and patience part)
about all the ways in which we allow our situation to define us.
We look at this, want to change that, see that person with this, we want it...
I dont think I struggle with envy so much,
I have a great life, so much to be grateful and thankful for...
So why am I not?
My friend had to spell it out for me today
"Get filled up daily"
She said. she even said that she needs to get filled up TWICE a day.
So cool.
So I'm rolling with it. This will probably be my last post for the month,
But I'll call ya in a week and let you know how this little experiment is going

The Challenge: Getting filled up with the Lord, being quiet in and His Presence for ONE WEEk98

I sneezed during the last part of that.
Adieu

Three Wires

Its been raining a lot today,
It rained right over all my plans
But then I remembered a word that the Lord has been speaking to me
He has given it to me through multiple peoples, in my daily reading, and then (always happens like this) confirmed it through the sermon on Sunday.

"Rest in Me."

BUT LORD I AM RESTING?!
Right?
No, not quite. I think this, like many passages in the Word, is focusing more on the heart of the issue than the surface. Sure, I could kick back and nap all day,
But what would I dream about?
Probably all the worries I've been feeling the past couple weeks

But I don't need to worry, simply cast my cares on Him.

Does that mean I never have any worries ever?
.....
It means I'm sustained by Him, I'm putting my trust in Him, it means I'm dependent on him.
It means I belong to a Shepard who doesn't need my little sheep self looking over His shoulder and checking in. He's got it under control.
I can rest in Him.

I know that we've all heard this, but I think sometimes we need a reminder.
Here it is: Rest In Him.

Identity Crisis Much?

I dislike
That everytime
The conversation
Turns to hair
Everyone's gotta say
"oh michelle, we're never sure what you look like
because your hair keeps changing so much"
Come again?
Just because
From the summer to now
Everyone saw my hair go from
Red
to
Black
to
Short black
to
Blonde
to
Red
to
Reddy-Blonde
does
NOT
mean
I change my hair
CONSTANTLY
If anything, thats a good...
Two-month-per-hairstyle average.

Weird Situation...

So if your grandma yells at you to "turn that rap music off"
And you realize that you're in your twenties...
Is there a problem there??

Cracked...

Sometimes I look around at all the relationships in my community and cry out to God.
I wish there wasn't so much brokeness in the world.
It breaks my heart.
I see kids at Three Rivers who are so broken already, their homes in pieces, no foundation to grow upon...
I see friendships being torn apart by lies and hatred, some of it has come from me, most of it from the Father of Lies who loves to take miscommunication and turn it into huge chasms of broken space between us.
How are we supposed to navigate through all this brokeness and darkness that it has caused?

I know that truth shines in the darkness
That's why I read the truth of the word of God
I know that the only way to navigate our brokenness is to have it healed
That's what I've seen happen in my own life once I began to trust the Lord

Those are the only two things I can cling to in this awfully confusing time in my life. Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

BABYYYY

I'm noticing them everywhere.
I want to hold them and kiss their little faces.
On my bike ride this morning I actually stopped to pet one, didn't ask the mom...
I'm a woman possessed by the cuteness of babies.
Why have I never noticed them before????

Wow...

Just got back from Redding and was reading my stats.
Its kinda incredible, but more than half of my readership is from other countries.
Europe.
I'm seriously hoping this isn't some kind of weird thing.
Hopefully its just people who are reading about someone who is reaching out and learning to live for the Lord.
That's what this blog is really about (at least, i'm trying to make it that way)
so praise God.
I hope this blog blesses you, no matter where you are.

Travelavelavelavelavel...

As of right now...
I have traveled
A total of
1,464 miles in one week.

or

The road-travel equivalent of One day and Three hours.
But that's with no pit-stops, souvenir breaks, taking pictures, or saving animals by the side of the road.
So much...much....much longer.

Be a Gumby

Weather: Rain and heavy winds
Currently Craving: Ramen

I was thinking more about Romans 8:28, and decided to illustrate it with Gumby. I think that the world teaches us to try more and more to control our situations. AAA, cell phones, Iphones, internet, portable computers, portable everything. The Lord, however, gives us His word which tells us to deal with each day as its own problem, and to rely on Him for our daily bread. I've learned that in my own life, daily bread means a lot more than just relying on the Lord for physical sustenance, it means relying on Him for my spiritual sustenance.

Maybe its just my human-ness, but I really like to know whats going on. I like to be in control. But following the Lord means sticking together with his Body and sticking it out. Being flexible like Gumby is a really helpful reminder of this. I need to roll with the punches (so to speak) like last night, leaving church I find someone sitting on my car who shouldn't be anywhere near the church or the people in it. Was I a tad bit scared? psch..yeah. But the Lord protected everyone in that situation and we all watched out for each other and got through it. Had I not remembered to be flexible like Gumby, a bebe like that one would've ricocheted right off me and I wouldn't have handled it correctly.

Also, I think its good to remember that Gumby had Pokey. As flexible as it is great to be, we weren't created to walk alone. I dont think that means having your bff strapped to your side every moment of the day, but I do think that walking through this life with people who fear the Lord and live according to His calling is a super important thing.

That's my piece, take it or leave it.
Also: if you have any extra Ramen packets in your car, drop them by. I could really use some study-power pasta right now.

Oregon Coast Retreat: Recap.

So I would like to start this out by saying that miss RHONDA IS A SAINT. She was such an amazing driver through all the horrible snowy conditions, especially the way back from Oregon. There were cars all over the ditches and bridges, it was extremely scary. There were semi-trucks that had been turned into pretzels, and the ice was to blame. Only once did the two of us feel the car begin to slide as we ascended a steep part of a mountain pass, and Rhonda's AMAZING driving skills got the car back into traction.

That past, I would also like to say that I WENT TO OCEAN WORLD. Finally. Haha, I'm not sure if I should leave that as an inside joke between me and Rhonda or not, lets just say I have some mighty good powers of persuasion and maaaaaaay have scored myself and a very reluctant Rhonda some sweet tickets to a super seedy shark-themed amusement aquarium. The best part wasn't even seeing adorable seals being exploited for our enjoyment (they loved it, dont worry, all were rescue seals) or even the manta rays whose funny mouths we marveled at (resist the urge to google pictures of that...aaaaah i know you cant, just do it, they're awesome) it was by far...the...SHARK TANK PETTING ZOO!

YOU HEARD ME
(read me)

There they were, two sharks swimming about in a shallow tank, we were instructed that they didn't like fingers...but also not to tempt them. Not exactly the most reassuring words for two people about to stick their hands in that tank. Not going to lie either, my initial reactions were to just look at them from a distance and tell people i had (hyperbole, lying is WAY not cool) but then a group of 5-year-olds ran in front of us and just went for it. Then I knew what I had to do. After the initial "EEEEEEUGHOHMYGOODNESSITSSLIMY" part of the whole experience, I got really comfortable. They would just swim around and I would rest my hand along their backs, and move it around them as they swam through. They have a really interesting rhythm to the way they move, not to mention their skin feels wonderful. I dug it. Though one of them was totally gunning for rhonda's fingers. They probably smelled cookies :)

The retreat was amazing. It was so great to hang out with a bunch of God-fearing gals of all ages. I was super especially stoked on the 60+ ladies who were partying harder than us 20-somethings (I'm a 20-something...woah...). They were such a joy to be around and see. The speaker, Carole, our 6'7" giant, was fantastic. Totally Bible-centered, self-example teachings. She taught a ton on Romans 8:28, which blew my mind because Kevin just brought that up tonight at Bible study. Its a really good verse. I t came to be at a really important time in my life, I have a lot of decisions coming up, but I am assured that there is no wrong answer and that Christ is keeping me if I too cling to Him.

Those women will inspire me for the rest of my life. I hope to one day be as totally rad as they are. So intelligent. So driven. So God-fearing and wise. Gah.

Inspiring. Totally inspiring.

And the Winner Is....

MICHELLOPIE'S ONESIE WON THE LADIES' CHOICE FOR CUTEST PAJAMORAMAS EVER!

That might've been an exaggeration, but as someone who doesn't win many awards outside the intellectual arena this is a big deal. I won a candle yo.

Oregon Coast Retreat...mmm!

So we just got to the Oregon coast, we're in a tiny town called Canon Beach. We've been traveling since 8am on Thursday and its going to be really nice to just be in one place for awhile :)

I'm excited to see what God is going to do through these ladies this weekend, I've heard that this retreat is a super fun one. There's been rumors of ladies pranking (not the younger ones either, its been said that the 60+ ones like to do it late at night), there will be a pajama contest, a dance contest, and all-night bunko games (what is bunko you ask? good question, i'm going to find out tonight!).

This has been a hard time for me though, strange as it is I really really REALLY miss Fort Bragg. There was a moment on Thursday morning when Rhonda and I were juicing up before we left: we were at Headlands and the sun was rising and it smelled like the ocean...it was so beautiful...I looked at Rhonda and said "You don't REALLY need me to go with you.." So now i'm here, again REALLY missing Fort Bragg. :( hopefully I can wash away the homesickness with a good round of bunko and some roudy old ladies.

Goal for this retreat: Listen to God's word, worship Him, and make best friends with a 90-year-old lady who will teach me some epic pranking techniques.

Twinkies Files for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

NooooOOOOOOOooooo!





I'm gonna cry.

Goodbye Twinkies.
I will miss your ridiculous center.
And all the ridiculous rumors that went along with eating your fluffy cakes...
Every seven years.

Consistency is Consistently Difficult

So i put this off for too long again.
Its just...with the holidays....
then the school starting...
and the...
with the....
excuses.



So i'm here now. Sharing, as I so awkwardly do, about my spiritual life. From a blog. Because I will not use facebook. And I dont get out much these days.

Lets see: I've been reading the Bible a lot since January, the entire Bible done in one year is my goal, and the best part is that I'm not undertaking this alone. A whole mess of Godly women whom I respect (and adore) are doing it too. They make things like this look so easy. We are also all going through "Way of Agape" study together. I am not going to lie, I signed up because Diana is awesome and we were going to be reading...so that's two of my favorite things, and I just decided to do it.After reading the first four chapters I realized that this was like a....i dont know...older married woman study. I show up on saturday and REALLY realize this . So i'm hanging with a bunch of amazing, funny, older, GODLY women on Saturday....oh my life...we all know how hard it can be :)

Other than that I've been spending a lot of time ALONE.
That seems weird to say...as a young person I feel like we are encouraged to get all of our wigglies out by being outside and being loud and being in groups and being...never still.
The Lord has gotten me here by no will of my own. I'm like the dumbest little sheep that keeps fighting Him, and He keeps breaking my legs again and again. I swear...if I could cartoon for you the kind of sheep that I am...it would be one with a lot of band-aids all over its legs from all the leg-breakings.
But I'm here now. Alone. In my own apartment, doing school all day and work some nights. So it gets pretty quiet...right? WRONG
Ohmy...ooooohmy. Well the Lord has been pouring Himself over me like its nobody's business and I've been getting so blessed. SO BLESSED.
I feel like I'm in the stage of my walk with the Lord where I was off doing my own thing, found Him again, decided to commit, got married, and then totally forgot about the honeymoon phase.
I had been running around at all these Bible studies, giving my attention to other people, and just plain being distracted! But I've finally slowed the gears and have been really trying (trying...trying...DOING!!) to just be with Him and spend time with Him.
Not to make them feel weird, but its like my lovely neighbors Corey and Danielle (Kory...Korey....Corieieie...idk. Sorry man...) they got married and then fell off the social map so to speak. We never saw them emerge unless it was for work or church. It almost bothered me at first. I was always like "Wh...Eh...Uh...WHERE ARE THEY!" But I finally realize what that time is for. I need to spend some quality time with my God. I need to get to know Him, and hear Him, and worship Him on my own. I need to not fill my nights with social engagements but to rest and relax in Him. Its in these times when I have heard the voice of the Lord. Its beautiful.



I shared this with my folks last night. Rhonda's reply was, "Well, after all the coincidences started piling up 'you miss that engagement' 'you had so-and-so flake out on you' 'you were going to this persons house but your muffler fell off' I was wondering when you were gonna get it!"

again....i remind you all....sheep with band-aid legs....